When we are passionate about a cause and feel outnumbered or under attack, our natural response is to cluster in groups that share our identity. While doing so feels safe and affirming, it can actually work against us if we want to bring about change. Willingness to engage people on the other side of a debate and find common ground has a much higher probability of success.
Writer and abolitionist Hannah More is an example of someone who found strength in a group of people with a common cause while being able to reach a wide range of people with her message. She was a member of the Clapham Sect in England, a group of evangelical Christians that met around 1790 to 1830 to collaborate on efforts to end slavery and promote social reform. The group was led by William Wilberforce, who sponsored anti-slavery legislation and fought for decades to see it through.
As
explains in her book Fierce Convictions: The Extraordinary Life of Hannah More — Poet, Reformer, Abolitionist, “The battle against slavery was, in many ways, led by the poets — and other writers and artists — who expanded their country’s moral imagination so it might at last see horrors too grave for the rational mind to grasp.” Building a groundswell of support from the British public of all classes was key to creating the kind of pressure needed to achieve victory. With her writing, Hannah executed a campaign to sway public opinion in favor of abolition, despite the remoteness of the brutality and the lucrative nature of the trade.The Clapham Sect believed that their faith could make a difference in the world. To do so, they needed to hold fast to their convictions and engage people with a message that would resonate with them. To More, that meant using her pen not only to write sophisticated poetry that would be disseminated abroad, but also to produce tracts that could be understood by people who were newly literate.
Achieving her objectives also meant building alliances with people who did not agree with her on other issues or have a similar lifestyle. According to Swallow Prior, “More had a rare ability to keep strong, unwavering convictions in tension with broad-minded toleration.” The way she developed friendships with people who were very different from herself was a mystery to others, but it was critical to her impact. In fact, the ability to partner with others who shared their goals was a hallmark of the Clapham Sect’s program for reform.
If bumper stickers had existed in the early 1800s, it’s difficult to imagine More having one on her stagecoach. She was far less interested in tribalism than she was in effecting change. Julia Galef, in her book The Scout Mindset: Why Some People See Things Clearly and Others Don’t, points out that many identity-affirming actions like bumper stickers and online arguments have little real-world impact. She writes, “The better your message makes you feel about yourself, the less likely it is that you are convincing anyone else.” Asserting a cause-based identity can turn off the very people we want to win over and alienate those we need to work with to make progress. That is why More met people where they were.
Looking at the men that surrounded King David, we find two contrasting examples of how they engaged opponents: Joab and Hushai.
Joab, the general leading David’s army, struggled with fighting for the cause with which he identified — winning battles for his side — and achieving the king’s greater objectives. After King Saul’s death, David needed to consolidate power by winning over his army and the larger population. David was careful to avoid giving any impression that he had been behind the late king’s death or that he wanted to lord over his tribe and followers. The armies, however, kept up with skirmishes and duels. In one of those, Joab’s brother Asahel was killed by Abner, Saul’s general.
Eventually, Abner grew disillusioned by Ishbosheth, Saul’s son and would-be successor. Abner approached David with a plan to defect and bring the army along with him. Before he could complete the plan, Joab killed him. Whether Joab’s motives were vengeance or rivalry, his action underscored his desire to have his own way rather than showing restraint in favor of the greater good.
By contrast, David’s long-time advisor Hushai showed tremendous courage by engaging David’s son Absalom as the young man led a rebellion against the king. While David fled Jerusalem in the wake of the insurrection, Hushai first met him on a hill outside the city. He tore his garments in a sign of mourning and solidarity with the king’s suffering. David, rather than keeping Hushai with him to wallow in sorrow, instead sent him back to Jerusalem where he could be more useful.
Back at the palace, Hushai offered his services to Absalom. This gave him the proximity he needed to understand his plans. It also provided the opportunity for Hushai to propose a course of action that would put David at an advantage so he could win back control of the kingdom. Hushai prioritized the opportunity to have an impact on the kingdom over retreating to the solace of shared identity with David. Doing so was uncomfortable and required wisdom and discernment. But it was worth the effort.
While the methods Hushai used are best suited to war, and we don’t want to use deception in everyday life, we can still learn from his willingness to engage the opposition. Like Hushai, we need to find ways to get closer to decision-makers, understand their goals, and find ways to move forward together. For More, that meant using her gifts of writing and socializing to learn how best to communicate with people and find common ground. This is the way she and others in her circle built the support needed to achieve the abolition of the slave trade in England.
When we are tempted to huddle with others who share our disappointment with the way culture and politics are moving, we would do well to remember the examples of Hushai and More. We need the solidarity and encouragement of those who share our convictions. However, if we camp out there, we risk developing an us vs. them mentality — the same trap Joab fell into that led him to undermine his own cause. Shared identity gives us strength, but cloistering and becoming entrenched in our group works against us.
Effecting change requires engaging in conversations with people who disagree with us and communicating in a way they understand: one that engages their imagination and leads to a positive vision of the future. We need to choose impact over identity if we want to achieve our goals.